It's Okay.

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 03:48:49 GMT

It's okay for you to worry.
and it's fine that you take the time.
but we're together now.
their eyes aren't watching us.
we're not under the microscope.
you can hold my hand.
and i can hold yours.
we're able to be free.
we're able to be ourselves.

it shouldn't matter now.
and it didnt matter then.

im happy with you.
and i know you're happy with me.
im nothing special.
but you saw something in me.
something that made me seem.
special.
im holding that on to that.
you can hold my gaze.
and we can get lost.
in eachother's souls.

it shouldn't matter now.
and it didnt matter then.

im holding you high.
and you're keeping me.
this is strong.
this is pure.
and this is true.
right now.
lying beside you.
i've never felt so complete.

it shouldn't matter now.
and it didn't matter then.

you give me that confused look.
as if trying to say,
"do you feel the same way i do"
and i look right back at you.
im re-assuring you.
that this the love.
i've been looking for.
the love i've felt.
for quite sometime.

it shouldn't matter now.
and it didn't matter then.
because in the end.
it's just you and I.
in this crazy world.
living this crazy life.

You're Wonderful. In A bad Way.

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:15:23 GMT

It started with a smile and ended in denial. We smiled, our eyes met, I blew him a kiss and he caught it. Months passed and emotions grew, the flirtation continued so did the ideas of being together. And the kiss during the first snowfall locked the deal. He was mine and I was his. Smiling to myself and giggling at the littlest thing, I knew it, this had to love. I never knew what it felt like, but I had seen it in movies. It was supposed to be perfect, Cinderella had her Prince Charming, Jasmine had her Aladdin, and this Jasmin had him. We were picture perfect, made for the movies. But as we grew closer, things changed, I could feel it change. The movie was over, the credits rolled, the audience was gone, it was just me starring into and empty screen. It’s just that in reality it wasn’t an empty screen, but an empty touch and heart. I felt myself grow closer to him and he could feel himself taking steps back. I wondered why. Was it something I said, was this not the perfect fairytale? I stayed up listening to the same song, the one that played in the back of my mind when we shared that first kiss, when the snow fell and tickled our noses. Do you remember that? How that felt…? Because I do. You held close so the cold wouldn’t get to me, or you. We laughed and then locked in stare. That’s when I knew that I was setting myself up for something I could never undo. But I took the chance. And for that moment, on 11-08, I felt with this boy I would never be happier in my whole life. But then he lied, he told me that he hadn’t done anything and would never do anything to hurt me. I told him I couldn’t take it, that the things I saw for us would never come true. I had to get out of this relationship before we…before I got hurt. But something told me to give him a second chance, I did, but I never would have guessed the amount of pain he could have caused me. After he was forgiven for lying once, twice and a third time he thought I would let it go again. I had to break this bad habit. I looked back to try find out why and how he could hurt me so much. I never found that answer, so I sat there as my eyes swelled and my heart cried. And I promised myself never to look back again, to never wish for a happy ending and to never fall in “love” again because “love” never existed. He never existed. His idea was sweet but his kiss was bitter. From time to time I think of him and smile but he had me so close, in the palm of his hand. But he didn’t need me, come to think of it I never needed him, I just wanted to be with him, had I known at the beginning would their have been no problem? I guess. In a way I was playing with fire, I played with something beautiful and got burnt. He did also, and I was only burnt but he was scarred. I’ll forget him, but a day won’t go by where he won’t try and make me jealous or want me back. And that’s why I’ll never take him back.

youre_blinded

It's Okay.

You're Wonderful. In A bad Way.